I moved in to my corner room on Loose 2nd Saturday, August 19 but I’m still at that point in my college life where I check my email seven times daily and cry when I read a letter from home. The thought of being here for four years is enough to make someone want to honor their eight complimentary visits to the town shrink— but I’m slowly learning that Grinnell has what I need and I’m not at all sorry I’m here.

Friday, November 24, 2006

A Collection of Photographs from SOA Watch

This is what the road between Grinnell, IA and Columbus, GA looks like (Mer took this picture on the way down.) According to MapQuest, it's 1,040 miles. Since it's fall, the trees were really beautiful and orange/red. We drove mostly at night so I really only saw Georgia, Tennessee, and Kentucky in the day time.This is our campsite in Pine Mountain, GA in the AM. You can tell it's morning because things are zipped up and the air looks cold. We slept on the ground in these four GORP tents- mine was the second from the right- 45 miles outside of Columbus. I slept in the Volvo wagon the second night because the ground was too cold and too uncomfortable. I was the only one to take a shower in four days. I seriously hate camping. HATE ITI believe the bottom on the right is Leigh's. The main stage is where all the musicians and speakers were located. At Saturday's rally, we sat on this small patch of grass next to a garbage can for five hours. SOA Watch, the organization, spent an incredible amount of money to ensure everyone could hear what was happening from the stage. Large speakers were erected all throughout the protest site. Most of the offerings from the stage were in both English and Spanish and interpreters wearing special badges walked around to ensure everyone's message was fully accessible.

The watch tower was set up to the left of the stage. Military police and local police personnel lined the perimeter of the crowd. Helicopters flew overhead the second day of the protest in an attempt to drown out the speakers and spot people crossing the line. Everyone was video recorded when they entered the site.This picture really captures the political and social diversity of the crowd. Nuns and punks marched together in solidarity. Many students from Jesuit schools were in attendance (they were flown in by their schools and put up in hotel rooms) because the SOA was initially questioned when two Jesuit priests and several Catholic missionaries were murdered in South America at the hands of SOA graduates. The protest was like nothing I have ever attended. I plan to go every year I am able.

The South. Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, and Kentucky. Holy crap.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

My 50th Post and Counting: SOA Watch 2006

We left Grinnell a little before 11 on Thursday night. Leigh lent her Volvo wagon to the cause and Sarah, Evan and I were fortunate enough to get to ride in her car. It's the perfect protest ride because it's a little hippie but still really comfortable and safe. She drove the first four hours and a few inbetween and both Evan and I took turns the remainder of the way. Our car followed Sara Lu's van the entire way- we had no map, crappy MapQuest directions, and absolutely no common sense. Emily, who caught a ride home with us, wondered how we managed to follow someone for 1,100 miles. Ha, honestly?... not sure. We drove through Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee, and through a bunch of Georgia. Columbus is practically in Alabama so one wrong turn and we were there too. The drive was a bit more than 18 hours. We stopped almost every hour because every hour at least one person had to use the restroom. We hit mostly truck stops. The one in Kentucky where we stopped at 9 AM smelled like clean trucker and sausage gravy.

The campsite where we slept was in Pine Mountain, about 45 miles from Columbus. I hope we got a good deal on the site because it was a pain in the ass to drive to and from the protest. Also, the camp ground was not especially enthusiastic about hosting a group of college students. We had showers (I kid you not, I was the only person to take one in the four days we were gone) and GORP, the college's outdoor recreation group, gave us tents and sleeping bags. Ryan let me borrow his but while I was in the bathroom, Evan fell asleep in it. SICK. I was really freezing and uncomfortable on the ground so I slept in the front seat of Leigh's car the second night.

Our first night, we walked a mile from the conference center to a concert at the HoJo. I bought a Peace flag and hugged Dotty Dale and her son hello. I met her second granddaughter, Lucy, on Saturday at the rally. Half of Columbus, Georgia is historically preserved and charming while the other half is a typical army town. Saturday morning we attended an orientation session at the convention center and listened to several speakers, including the Venezuelan Ambassador, who discussed the current needs of the people of Latin America and steps many countries have taken to withdraw officials from the SOA. Each of us was given a bright pink piece of paper with our legal rights printed on both sides. We were instructed to keep them in our pockets throughout the weekend should we run into trouble with the police. People who intentionally cross the line and people who accidently step over face the same legal reprocussions.

Most of the action takes place right outside Fort Benning. Saturday's rally consisted of speakers and musicians and I must have hit every vendor and organization's table four times. I got some really good resources, a shirt and some buttoms. The only food on site was a few tables of BBQ and Beans and Rice set up by people living in the low income apartments on the base. The New York chapter of SOA Watch also had a table offering fresh bagels and cream cheese. Dotty pointed me in the direction of the bagel stand- just two down from the "pee standing up, for women" booth. In addition to the "pee standing up, for women" tool, they were selling the "Diva Cup." http://www.divacup.com/. I was really impressed with the idea and according to Christena, they were big in Grinnell this summer. The rally lasted nearly six hours and in the early evening, each car split for dinner. We found a really awesome Mexican grocery and deli where the waitress encouraged us to speak Spanish. I had two really good, really authentic tostadas. I bought Susan's dinner because she didn't have her money. She owes my $9. Ima email her tonight.

I was barely standing by the time we got back to the convention center for workshops. Susan and I took a nap instead and then encouraged our group to head back to the camp site. Sunday's vigil was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. There were over 20,000 people at the edge of the line. In addition to several speakers, Emily Saliers from the Indigo Girls sang us a song about revolution and Susan Sarandon's sister, who is a nun, read a statement about achieving peace with justice. The actual vigil started at 11 AM. Each person is encouraged to carry a white cross bearing the name of a victim of the human rights violations committed by graduates of the school. Everyone present marches in a circle eight people deep. One person on the stage sings out the name of an individual and after each name, people raise a hand or a cross and respond with "presente" meaning the spirit of the person lost is present among the people gathered at Fort Benning. Some names that were sung were not names at all but instead "Unidentified person from _____" or "Unborn child of _____ from _____." When our part of the procession made it to the wall, I placed my cross among the thousands of others on the fence. I watched several people cross over. They were immediately handcuffed and taken into custody. One of the hardest parts of the whole experience was feeling the presence of the military and civilian police. Everyone was filmed upon entering the site and a watch tower was erected between the fense and the main stage. We left the vigil just as the helicoptors began to fly overhead muffling the speakers on the main stage and looking for people crossing the line.


I am so so glad I was able to make the trip. I know I'll travel to Columbus again next year and I'd love it if I could get a few Bellingham friends to come along. I ran into Dotty several times and I sat with Chris, the older woman I sit next to in Gender and Women's Studies after the procession. The night before she had the opportunity to reunite with the women with whom she shared a cell last spring when she served her sentence for crossing. Two of the women were crack addicts now clean and working in the city.

Grinnell has afforded me many great opportunities already- it's only been three months. I got a packet about a possible trip to NOLA during Winter Break. I'll have to discuss it with my parents.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving so I prepared the napkins for the tablescape this evening as Adriane, Britt, Kathleen, Les, and Christena chatted and cut veggies. I'll post Thanksgiving Day pictures.

I got a package from Grandma and Papa today- dunkers and sugar cookies. YAY! Old people write the best notes. I think it's because they were really forced to dig deep back in the day when telephone and email was not an option. They're getting two corgi puppies in December, just in time for Christmas. I'm coming home in three weeks regardless of whether or not my finals are done. Hamilton Travel is picking me up at 5 AM on Saturday, December 16.

12-20-84

Last week, I turned in my second semester registration card. It had toothpaste all over it from an unfortunate cap malfunction. I told the woman at the registrar's office when she said my card smelled minty that the brand was Colgate and that I was sorry. The women who work at the registrar's office look like pageant mother's. I'm sure they are- the desk job is just a way to supplement their daughter's winnings.

My Second Semester Schedule
A List By Margie Scribner

1. Introduction to Political Science
2. Technique in Sculpture
3. Literary Analysis
4. Introduction to Statistics

It's Spanish free but a bit more challenging than this semester. My math teacher is a woman which is good because the high school math teachers I liked best were also women- by liked best I mean I got A's in their classes. For a Sociology major, I'll have to take a 200 level Stats class at some point.

I went to Georgia [see latest blog for details on my trip to the School of the America's Protest]. Before I left, I got this really awesome care package from Auntie Joanie. It had baked goods (of the banana and chocolate chip loaf and muffin variety), a book of Paris Hilton Paper Dolls, a "Would you rather...?" book (For example: Would you rather get drunk dialed by Ghandi or by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.?), a jar of fortune cookies for an insanely funny reason, and a stand up turkey made of card board and tissue paper for our Thanksgiving table scape. It was easily one of the most well thought out packages I've ever received. The card she included had a plate of turkey and sides covered in saran wrap and on the inside it said something about saving me a plate. Next year, I'm MOST DEF coming home for the holiday. I asked my Dad how many would be around our table this year. He said 18. Then I asked him how many people should be around our table. He said 19.

Britt, Kathleen, and I went to Wal-Mart yesterday to shop for our turkey and sides. We're feeding 15 tomorrow. Dad sponsored the turkey and I'm in charge of the table scape. Kim, our Resident Life Coordinator, got a fall flower delivery from her mother. The paper turkey and the flowers will be our centerpieces. All Wal-Mart had left in the way of Thanksgiving flare was paper plates and napkins with blue scarecrows on them. I opted out of those and instead picked up a bunch of stuff for 90% off at the Hobby Shack in Des Moines after I dropped Ryan off at the airport.

We left at 1:30 for the airport and hung out at Jordan Creek Mall until his 6:30 flight. On our way to the city, we stopped at the Lion's Den. The day patrons are always a lot different then the night patrons at adult shops- it's not always a good different. Ryan used the bathroom there. I would have rather gone outside next to the highway where I wouldn't run the risk of contacting some sort of sexually transmitted disease. It was hard to leave him at the airport. Until the SOA protest, we hadn't really spent any amount of time apart since the beginning of September. Ryan, since I know you're reading at this from your own room in Colorado right now, I trust you are eating Cheeseburger Mac and that you laughed a little when you read the word hard. I miss you HELLA so you should just come home right now.

Even though Ryan drew me a map of exactly how I was to get back to Grinnell, I got lost. I wasn't actually lost, it turns out, but I still asked for directions from people in line at the Hobby Shack. Iowa's highways are really hard to figure out so their was a lot of sighing, pointing, and head shaking. On my way back, I picked up some delicious Taco Bell. All my classes for today were cancelled. Meredith, Christena, and I went to Amanda and Chris' last night for a small fiesta. Then-I went to the Pub. Come to find out, I look a lot like a 16 year old Christena. 12-20-84. That's my new birthday. I was the only first year in the Pub and it felt glorious. It's in the basement of this pizza restaurant and it reminds me a lot of a pirate ship. Since I knew/recognized almost everyone there (including RLC Kim and her husband Randy) I felt really comfortable.

Ryan and I finished Angel's in America last week. The entire mini series was six hours. It was really good and I really liked Meryl Streep's characters. She played Ethel Rosenberg and a Mormon mother named Hannah Pitt. I also really liked Mary Louise Parker's character (she was also Mormon).

We saw Rhonda Fisher, our Soc professor, at Jordan Creek Mall at the "I <3 Dogs" kiosk. Apparently her daughter owns and runs it but I wouldn't be surprised if Rhonda had a pretty strong hand in the operation as well.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Ugg v. Ugh

I tried to reread the entire play this weekend in Spanish. What I should have done was make flashcards of all the vocabulary words and just skimmed like you do in middle school. But enough about me doing crappy on another Spanish test- the weekend was good and I got a package from home today. P.S. AWESOME! I'll be looking for it, shortauntiej. I finally scheduled a time to meet with my advisor about next semester's classes. I don't think she'll let me take Coaching Methods, Outdoor Leadership, or Ribbon Dancing like I want to but I'm going to fight as hard as I can for them.

The Rep Yo Coast Party turned out so well, I think we're going to have another one in a few weeks. We spilled a full beverage cup on an office chair and the floor lamp tilts now so I'm going to insist on holding the next bash in a lounge with not-nice things in a building that I don't live in so I don't have to clean up after everyone the next morning. Saturday afternoon, Ryan, Molly, Christena, and I went to this really cool Negro Spiritual Concert starring a classically trained Negro Spiritual vocalist who works in Burling Library. Ryan and I are writing papers on the concert for extra credit. Technically we only stayed for half; 0ur thought was that the second half was probably very similar to the first (which we were late for.) Ryan wanted to "shake his booty" at Harris Saturday night so we made an appearance but for the most part, the evening was pretty tame. Multi Culti Manor hosted the dance- they played really good music and before the girls in Ugg boots showed up with their boyfriends, everyone danced.


Ryan and I came back to Loose, ordered a pizza, and watched Angels in America until 2. It's a six part show so we'll watch the rest of it this week. All I did Sunday was study and shower. I also watched the Amazing Race in the first floor lounge. It smelled a lot less like beer and throw up last night than it did yesterday morning.

UGH. I'm so tireddddddddd. I may have to write another blog tonight to make up for the crappiness of this one. I've tried to refrain from commenting on the quality of my blog in a blog but I think the sentiment "UGH" accurately describes what it's like to go to college so I think I'll keep it in. "UGH" is also the sound I make when I haul my laundry up and down three flights of stairs. But alas, I'm out of underwear.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Nap Time.

It's snowing here. My Spanish professor was sick today so she sent in the new prof fresh off the plane from Spain. She completely freaked out at the sight of snow and I'm pretty sure she didn't understand what I meant when I said she should probably just hibernate this winter. Maybe she did but either way she thinks I'm a freak. The whole Spanish department does but I'm cool with it because after December 15, I'm not going to speak Spanish ever again. Even if I visit CatTed and Fran in Spain when they elope in three years.

We got our paychecks today and the paper turned out well. I designed the page for my business profile; it's the only one in the paper with the S&B logo in the dead center. I accidentally copy and pasted it there when they- SURPRISE- asked my design an ad three minutes before I was going to peace for the night. Oops. At the critique on Sunday night, there's no doubt Mark, the graphics editor, is going to ask me if I "meant to do that" even though he knows perfectly well that it was an honest mistake.

Christena is driving Scott, Ryan, and I to an outlet mall near Iowa City this afternoon. Since I'm returning the ridiculously expensive North Face jacket I bought online last weekend, I might buy a vest at Old Navy and find something else online next week. Really, I just like riding out of town in the backseat of cars. Especially Kelly's because it's so comfortable.

Kathleen is sleeeeeeeeping right now so I can't eat the Honey Chex Mix I bought at the Grille after Spanish. She had a hard week. So much reading, so little sleeping. My week was pretty bad too. Not for any particular reason, it was just really stressful and I feel like I'm behind in Spanish even though I've read the play about the school for the blind and watched the movie about the kids with osteosarcoma. Actually, I think I know why I'm in a funk. It's because all the material we read/see/discuss is extremely depressing.

On a lighter note, we started the hip hop unit in tutorial and Professor Purcell used the term "gangsta rap" 10 plus times in class yesterday. Tonight, Ryan and I are hosting a Rep Yo Coast Tutorial Party in Loose Pit. We'll listen to h-core rhymes, which I have hand selected from my own extensive collection of hip hop and gangsta rap (I went through a weird phase this summer,) eat pizza, and play games. It's sure to be off the chain. We've already had to move the location because BiFocal is hosting its own cocktail party in our first-choice locay.

My "p" key is really messed up. I probably won't be able to type "p" words soon.

The train is going by. Grinnell is so weird.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

On NOT Crossing the Line in Georgia

This man,
lost the race today; Doug Erickson and his super forces (i.e. Jesus, Cornwall Church, the Diehl Fords) proved too powerful for young Jasper and his team of liberal visionaries. Figures were close- J Mac had just over 47% of the vote- so he's not exactly depressed. I called the MacSlarrows this afternoon and they seemed fine. They were eating and mentally preparing for tonight's Dixie Chicks concert; both Rachel and her older sister, Heather, are back in town for the event. The campaign is over; it must feel very surreal. My god, his face was on a bumbersticker and plastered all over stranger's yards.

The Campus Dems are pretty proud of themselves too. The way they're celebrating right now, one would think they were single handedly responsible for usurping the Republican majority in the House and Senate. Rumsfeld is out too and it's probably something they did. They phoned during and after my nap on Tuesday- for the last two weeks they've been merciless in their "Vote or Die" efforts. I heard they actually killed three kids this year using only five, round Campus Dem stickers and a Dan Carroll yard sign. I voted absentee in Washington because I had too much invested personally in Whatcom County. I'll vote in Iowa in 2008 and really make things happen.

Jayber Crow, a really REALLY good folk/country/alt band from the Twin Cities played for us last night at Bob's Underground Coffee House. I bought a CD of their live recordings. They've been touring the Midwest in their van for several years now and I spoke to them after the show about the likelihood of them driving West this spring. They said they would love to make the trip but they would need a place to stay. I offered them my parent's house and our shed for a concert venue. We shall see if anything comes of it. I gave them our home phone number and address as well as my parent's social security numbers. Ha. Not really. I actually downloaded Jayber Crow's "Oh My God When I Drop Dead" last April before my first EVER trip to Grinnell. I listened to it as I flew over Iowa, the place I knew would be my home away from my parent's home for the next four years. Their second to last song of the night was that one. It was incredible to hear it performed live.

Sure enough, next week I will be traveling to the School of the Americas (renamed the "Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation" in 2001) at Fort Benning, Georgia with 20 or so students from Grinnell PLUS an older woman- she has attended for the last nine years- that I sit next to every other day in Gender and Women's Studies. Last year, she was arrested for crossing "the line" and served six months in federal prison. I won't be crossing "the line" this year even though you get to sleep a lot in prison. We'll be driving down Thursday evening and we'll return before classes on Monday. The drive is about 18 hours.

I wrote a business profile for this week's issue of the Scarlet & Black. The RadioShack/Music Shop has been owned and operated by Vicky and Dave Elliott since 1978. It was a painfully uncomfortable interview. That's the last newspaper story I'm writing. Ever. I had two OTHER papers due this week and I haven't really slept. Sunday and Monday night I worked in the lounge to finish my work. Alicia left an entire bag of Honey Chex Mix on the kitchen table Monday night. Those little crackers were my saving grace.

Karen, the Custodian from Hell, pulled yet another monster move last weekend. The Campus Repubs posted signs in every bathroon stall on campus giving small pieces of information about every candidate in the Iowa election. Dylan, from Loose Second North, edited the poster in one bathroom on our floor with a "He doesn't like gay people" next to Carroll's summary. The next morning, Karen took it upon herself to add "Check your Bible, He doesn't hate the person, just the act" and left it up for everyone to read. We've decided not to report the incident but Adam thinks we should post one of those hot pink "Queer Safe Space" posters on her closet until things improve. Also, she almost threw away my new Starbucks mug that I left on the kitchen counter. I saved it, though.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

From Mom

A voicemail message from my mother:

"We sure enjoy your blog... uh...*long pause*... especially the last diagram... very detailed. Thanks for the information. Okay. Bye Sweetie."

We watched South Park on the roof of the loggia today. I was laughing really hard at something inappropriate from the NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association) Episode when all of a sudden, some kid from the yearbook standing on the ground below asked to take our picture for the book. YAY!

So I gave my "college is like camping" theory back in September. Now, as we enter into November I find that life on Loose Second is looking more and more like life at a Bed & Breakfast. We don't have television in our rooms, we must walk down the hall to the bathroom we share with our neighbors (some of whom are easier to get along with than others and many of whom hail from different parts of the country), and we share the responsibility of refilling the floor ice cube tray when it is empty. I like it here. A lot.

The drag show was pretty good. The party was ok; Ryan, Neo, Erin, and I were the reason it was such a success. Ask anyone.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Your vulva

If you don't want to feel like an IDIOT like me at your next masterbation workshop, you'll memorize the parts of your vulva. This is a vulva:

HAIRCUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

I forgot to mention that I made my first ever trip to Taco John's last night. It's like Taco Bell only cleaner and not as tasty (am I right, Kathryn Frasier?) Taco Bravo's were only 99 cents because it was Thursday. What an incredible deal.

Katy drove Christena, Ryan, and I. I treated Christena in exchange for A HAIRCUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY! It looks really good; it's shorter and I think I look very hot/sexy. She cut it in the men's bathroom on our floor. I was beginning to look like all the members of The Beatles from the album "Let it Be." Later that night, Molly, Clare, Anna, AND someone else got their hair cut too. Christena used scissors stolen from the print making studio because she knows she has not been fully compensated for her $60 material fee.

This is me as John, me as Paul, me as Ringo, and me as George before I got my haircut.


Ryan and I are walking to McNally's- McNally's is to Haggens as Hyvee is to Cost Cutter- in an hour and 19 minutes. We're making Hambuger Helper, Cheeseburger Mac tonight. McNally's has a Mediterranean olive bar and case full of imported cigars. Grinnell, IA is like an infomercial in that "the views expressed may not represent the views of this station (state)."

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Karen, our custodian, is a heartless MONSTER

Yeah, I skipped them. I don't regret it, though. I slept through the first one and I knew exactly what I was doing. The second? Not my proudest moment but that beast of a Spanish composition had to be written and there was simply no other way. Two classes down, I hauled ass to Spanish, the one class I can never EVER miss no matter how profusely I'm bleeding out of my head. All I contributed the ENTIRE class was "Los limones son agrios." "The lemons are sour." I get to the end of the period and come to find out, the paper's not due until viernes (Friday.) Bummer. I will be checking the revised syllabus from now on, thank you Profesora Valentin. You're right, checking before class would have saved me a lot of trouble.

Halloween was relatively uneventful. Ryan and I made a Wal-Mart run- Britt drove us at midnight in her Volvo- and then ate Valveeta Shells and Cheese using XTena's dishes. The trip reminded me of driving around in CatTed's Volvo, "Lola" (although Britt's Volvo is named "Vulva") for days and days listening to Dave Matthews Band and Busta Rhymes. We would usually have coffee from Avalino's and then sit in the car at a beach because I hate beaches because of their annoying sand. I miss the ocean a lot. I miss every kind of water, actually- lake, ocean, river, stream, drainage bed, puddle. There really isn't any water in Iowa. Rachel, Jordan, Kelly, and I had good conversations at Birch Bay and Lake Padden and near puddles because water is so condusive to good conversation. Naked.


I talked to CatTed on the phone yesterday several times because she lives down a really scary alley on State St. and she needed someone to keep her company during her walk up to campus. Also, I haven't talked to her for a billion fafillion years and I miss her a lot. She walks the with a flashlight alone most nights but she says the walk up the hill to WWU is making her ass shrink so it's worth it. FRAN'S COMING BACK TO AMERICA in six weeks. She's really excited. So am I. All I want to do is take him up to Vancouver and stop at IKEA so he can eat delicious meatballs and drink lingonberry juice. Beth, her roomie who she met while counseling church camp a few summers ago, is having second thoughts about letting him stay at their casa (house.) I say, Beth can move in with CatTed's parents for six weeks. That is all.

Newspaper was kind of fun last night. I mean, not fun like I was having fun, but fun, like it was bearable for a change. I swapped music with Christena near the end of the night and I introduced Pat, a veteran of the Marine Corps who is like 24, to Regina Spector. He seemed to really like her and not just because her last name, Spector sounds like sphincter. I got to lay out the Drag Extravaganza page. My headline: "Stuffed shirts, stuffed pants to stuff seats at Drag Extravaganza." The show should be kind of bad but few of my friends from Multicultural Manor will be performing. Tips earned by the kings and queens are going towards offsetting the cost of AIDS/HIV testing that will be offered on campus next week.

This weekend, Rachel from NOLA is hosting a little get together at her off-campus residence. Ryan and I are excited because it will be a reunion of sorts for our Alt Break group. It's been awhile since we've all been in the same place at the same time laughing about stupid things that make others squirm. During our Real World/Road Rules Challenge Make-Up Marathon tonight (which we were forced to watch in the smoking lounge of Cleveland Hall because everyone else on this campus was watching Greys Anatomy in groups of 30+,) I saw this commercial where a bunch of people get roaches dumped on their heads. I miss New Orleans and roaches. On my arm.

So in Spanish, we're reading this drama called "En La Ardiente Oscuridad" about a group of students that are attending a school for the blind. It's really terrible and I don't want to read it any more. Also, the book has words that are not in my Spanish dictionary. I'm convinced the author keeps inventing words; Merriam-Webster simply can not keep up.

Uncle Jack sent me a really awesome Starbuck's care package yesterday. He wants me to grind and test the varieties of beans he has sent thus far so he can send my favorite of the two next month. He insists on sending fair trade, organic because he knows that I am a bit of a hippie. I attended both the masturbation workshop and the School of the America's Vigil information session on Tuesday. The workshop was fine although I did not qualify for the door prize because I couldn't name all the parts of the vulva. Needless to say, I was quite disappointed in myself so I added a little note next to the unmarked diagram on the quiz- "It's not because I don't care." I hope to attend the protest in Georgia on November 17. The School of the America's is a military training academy on the Fort Benning Military Base. Latin American military officials are trained with American tax dollars at the SOA and when they return to their countries of origin they commit atrocious human rights violations against their own people. The US has never acknowledged their role in this and the school continues to thrive. Dotty and Al Dale will be there too. They've attended the vigil since it began 20 years ago during the Cold War. I love them.

My skin is really dry. So is Kathleen's. Our coastal reared skin is FREAKING OUT.

Also, Karen the custodian on Loose Second threw away my pumpkins yesterday without consulting me. I was pissed.