From the perspective of an addict

Jordan Creek is like the Mall of America only with less stores and better dressed locals. It took about two hours worth of really bad Mexican ska to find the mall (in West Des Moines) because Danny had to make a special trip to a camera repair shop to fix his lens. Apparently, Ritz Camera Repair has been out of business for three years. I had to ask directions from three different people along the way because Ryan and Danny were too male to do it themselves. Typical. I've been lost on the road for three years. Asking directions of complete strangers multiple times is like second nature. We managed to meet a semi-professional country western singer, I think, at the Holiday Inn where we stopped. WORTH IT.

I bought some hemp lotion from the Body Shop and ate Chinese in the food court. We hit Abercrombie, Buckle, Hollister, Express Men, Aeropostle, Gap, and AE harder than I ever have before.

When we got back to campus, everyone was already "Loose and Ready" so we had some catching up to do before the event. Loose was only "off the chain" for about 45 minutes (we were there just long enough to see the Spanish Language Assistant we are completely infatuated with) so we decided to catch the last five minutes of the "Hockey Night" concert in Main.

We called it a night relatively early. I walked Ryan back to Norris and took a campus bike back to the dorm. It was really thrilling and dangerous. This morning we caught lunch at Noon30 and peaced out to the Water Polo Match. Bobbi didn't get any playing time but he should be in the water tomorrow. The signs for the tournament promised exposed genetalia and blood. There was none of that but Grinnell took the win. Back in Ryan's dorm, he made us coffee for our NEW and FREE Joe Rosenfield '25 Center memorial mugs. We chatted with Jess and Carolyn for awhile before Jess left for Wal-Mart. I gave her 50 cents and told her bring back the most offensive Homie she could. I expect her to deliver.

Tonight we're going to watch a Docu/Film about street kids in Seattle for a Soc project. It will be nice to see the city... from the perspective of an addict.

Everyone call me all the time please. I like to talk and listen to voice mails.

My Birthday

First birthday at Grinnell = the weirdest birthday of my life. I mean, it was good. I didn't get to sleep nearly enough, I really only had three pieces of cake, I couldn’t spend time with any of my friends from Bellingham, and the people that wished me happy birthday did so because of the new and especially invasive Facebook feature BUT my parents sent me a delicious cake baked by the Episcopalians. Apparently, a really senior member of the congregation dropped it off when I wasn't around. Kathleen put it in the fridge for me and took pictures of the small gathering we had on Loose Second. Thanks, Roomie! Naturally, I blew out all 19 candles on the cake on the first try. Since Will’s a boy scout, he thinks he’s flame retardant. Everyone knows you light from the inside out. No accidents to report, but we had several close calls. Will's a far humbler man.

After cake with the floor, a few of us headed to the pit to watch Pee Wee's Playhouse on Adult Swim. It was really trippy. Kathleen, who has never seen the show, was especially troubled. The Long's used to love Pee Wee. I remember they had a beach towel with his face on it that I would use after bathing with Con Man and Maggs. When I had chickedn pox, they let me borrow a film from their extensive collection of Pee Wee movies.

I went to bed at 2 AM. I haven't been to bed before 2 AM for a week.

My mom also packed and sent this incredible party suitcase. I hoarded most of it. This weekend, we'll find a use for the tiki straws, I’m sure. I picked up another sweet care package from Uncle Jack, Starbucks Baristo this AM. I will probably grind the fair trade blend in the grinder he sent very late at night. Janet also packed a really amazing box of little things, all individually wrapped. The MacSlarrows also out did themselves with the vintage Linda Allen shirt they sent. I put it on over my shirt right in the post office and walked to Spanish singing "Without All the Women" and "Spirit Dreamer" under my breath. It was very weird and meaningful. Spiritually. Rachel HATES the song "Spirit Dreamer" because it's about a girl that is perpetually molested by her father until adulthood. I think it has a nice melody.

Ariel led the dining hall in a happy birthday sing-a-long for me too not once but twice. Rachel called me four times and sent a link to the Beatles "They Say It's Your Birthday" over AIM. I was away from the phone every time and now I think she's at the Paul Simon concert with Lisa Dell so I can't get a hold of her. Today I got a really awesome card made out of notebook paper from Lina. Bobbi Gas is coming to Grinnell this weekend for the Intramural Water Polo Tourney- I’m really hoping we can hit Choung Gardens to celebrate. I maintain it's the first quality Chinese restaurant west of the Mississippi.

Ryan and I are trying to get Carter to take us to Wal-Mart today after the farmer's market. I really need some lotion- winter is moving in and my hands and feet are getting pretty nasty. A few stands sell homemade moisturizing products. I’d actually like to buy some home-ground flour from the Mennonite family with the burgundy van. Danny from across the hall in Norris has agreed to drive us to Des Moines tomorrow in preparation for Loose and Ready- an infamous dance bash held in the lounge of my residence hall. It should be really obscene. I'll be there all night.

Monday night, when Ryan and I were in the library obsessing over Mother Iowa for a paper, a security guard walked through with a picture in one hand and a radio in the other. The next morning, we found out that campus security was looking for a missing student (a person must be missing 24 hours before a missing persons report may be filed.) Paul left a note on his roommate's desk asking him to give his guitar to a certain friend. He walked out late Sunday night and never came back. Helicopters, dogs, horses, dive teams, and 400 students and faculty have been searching the area for any trace of him but at this point they expect only to find his body. It's been very hard on campus because the community is so small. I can't imagine being the volunteer that finds their classmate in a "wooded area" off campus the teams continue to comb. CNN has covered the story and news teams are camped out at the volunteer check-in station outside of campus security. No one is releasing any additional information. It's all very surreal.

I hope things turn out better then they are expected to. Someone somewhere is thinking of a next step. I can't imagine what it will be.

From the State Capital of Iowa

This is Mother Iowa.

I saw her on Saturday at the Iowa State Capital in Des Moines where Thomas Bateman, Ryan, and I took some compromising pictures from atop her bronze frame for Facebook. It was a really good trip. In the city, bought a coffee from Starbucks for the first time in six weeks and ate really good bread with balsamic vinegar and olive oil.

I'm quite behind on the blog because I've been working for three days on papers, readings, and other miscellaneous college fare. I almost quit college today, in fact. I packed up three shirts into the laundry duffel from the Macs and walked down the fire escape. Then I went to the laundry room. Doing laundry is like running away.

I'm in the library with Ryan right now trying to analyze this woman and her iconic integrity as one monument in a larger Civil War commemoration. It's going poorly. I will probably be up until class starts tomorrow and I won't be able to shower or brush my teeth.

Ojahla means "God willing" in Spanish.

Ojahla my birthday will be good. Today's my birthday. Today SUCKS right now.

Big time kudos to Ryan for supplying me with this breathtaking picture. I think he really captured her.

The Basket Case

The first "Mean Girls Thursday" of the year was last night. Every Thursday from now until the end of the semester, Nick, Will, Carter, Kathleen, Ryan, Dan, and I will watch the movie together in Loose pit. The movie will begin promptly at 11:15 (enough time for the boys to return home from All Boys Cinema, ABC) and we will have refreshments and Halloween candy. I think that everyone in the whole world likes Mean Girls except Rachel and probably CatTed. I'm confident we'll only make it a week or so. Burling Library has over 4,000 feature films for checkout. It's like Tuesday at Crazy Mike's everyday of the year, MINUS the .99 cent rental fee.

We also hit Goodwill before dinner in preparation for the first 80's themed Harris Party of the year. Ryan is pretty serious about his costume. Inspired by the Breakfast Club, which we watched until the wee hours on Tuesday, I will portray the "Basket Case." I picked up several pieces for my ensemble as well as a 'Grinnell Girl Scouts' shirt. While the Girl Scout shirt I will wash in hot water before touching it to my bear skin, I'm really excited about it. Ryan is wearing a navy blue polo, khaki shorts, and white deck shoes (sans socks) that we had to pick up at Wal Mart. I bought a Homie on my last visit, as well. He was holding an assault rifle and his background was a small American Flag. It was the most offensive Homie I have ever vended. Carter found some black jeans and Will plans on wearing something from his own wardrobe. He usual dresses like a member of Pearl Jam.

I also bought 'Paint Your Own Kitty Bank' for $2. We'll paint it during dinner tonight. Should be real special. Since it's made by Roseart, the paint should be non toxic. Roseart designs kits for kids who struggle to keep their lips off of the paint brush.

Until the house party scene, I had forgotten Peaches was featured in Mean Girls. I am now burning discs for everyone. I call them "A Taste of Peaches."

Professor Valentin freaked out on us today I knew right away we were going to get it because she really sped up her Spanish. I would do that all the time if I had any sort of grasp on another language. I would give people a hard time all the time. Jon says he knows what she's saying when she's fuming because he went to Argentina last summer, but there's no possible way... He also thought he should be exempt from doing the Eva Peron assignment because he went to her Museum. I told him since he was not the curator of the museum, he would have to read the article and respond accordingly.

Last night before "Mean Girls Thursday," Ryan and I attended our second ReNew Orleans information session. We have to fundraise $4000 dollars in three weeks in order for all 30 of us to get down there. Rusty K (Russell K. Osgood, Grinnell College President who earns $600,000 a year) is our last resort. As a fundraiser, we're throwing a Red Beans and Rice community meal. I'll be cooking before league. If any of you are in the greater Grinnell area between 6 and 8 PM on Monday night, be sure to come hungry. Adam, Ryan, and I postered the academic buildings last night. Adam found a campus bike (the school as a fleet of yellow bikes that remain unlocked for students to use) so he rode around while we followed on foot with the flyers. He took it up and down the elevator in ARH several times. We got really terriblelooks from the ASIA Film Festival participants but Adam insisted it was a matter of self-governance and since he wasn't hurting anyone, he was well within his rights.

I postered the men's restrooms. Ryan wasn't ready to flyer the women's room so I had to do that too. I told him that we'll have to build to that.

Tomorrow is my field trip to Des Moines with my Tutorial class. We'll be looking at naked memorial statues cast in bronze and shopping. Unfortunately, we have a paper due on Tuesday based on our observations from the trip. Professor Purcell emailed us a link to the restaurant we'll be eating at in "the city." Pizza and assorted Italian food. I've eaten more pizza and Italian food in the dining hall since I've arrived than I have ever before in my entire life. I'm ording a sandwich or something... maybe a salad? It's on Grinnell, however, so whatever I order will probably be a large something with extra something else.

http://www.centrodesmoines.com/about_us/about_us.php. It's called Centros. Seems real hip.

P.S. Bravo aired a rerun of Runway last week. Randy, Brian, and I compare notes after each episode. I was really thankful things worked out the way they did.

Room 6230

This is Kathleen and her roommate, Margie

Soap Yer Boots

I just picked up the laundry I started last night at 5. It's been sitting down there for 17 hours. I had to re-dry a towel load at 2:30 this morning when I got in from Newspaper paste up. Annoying as hell. I was surprised none of my clothes were in the "Second Time Around" box. "Second Time Around" is a local thrift shop and the second Monday of every month, Karen takes a load down town. This month in the box: a massive load of white underwear and a floral comforter.

Listerine is not a substitute for an actual toothbrush and toothpaste. With that said, I keep a bottle in my bag now so I can take care of business on the way to class in the morning. Sometimes I spit on the train tracks.

Do not, I repeat DO NOT text, email, call, or carrier pigeon me about the outcome of the last episode of Project Runway. I missed it and I'm not very happy with myself.

I had my first ReNew Orleans orientation meeting last night. The group is going to be really good. However, one girl in my delegation is a member of the volleyball team. Her name is Neo and I think she's on to me. Adam and Anna, our leaders, have a lot of experience and promised to show us everything one is supposed to see in NOLA i.e. like drunk co-eds on Bourbon St. We're flying down (Missouri and Arkansas another time, perhaps?) and we'll be staying in a house on cots for a week. I need boots and a soap dish. I'm also in charge of putting together the group Playlist.

Professor Purcell emailed me last night. We're meeting this afternoon to discuss my Spanish test. It should be really awesome.

Don't forget to check out the calendar in this weeks edition of the Scarlet & Black. It has every volleyball game the team will play this week. Also, there's a really interesting Asian Film Festival happening next week.

DocuMeant to be a filmmaker

Alfredo today. I dipped the "Tater Bucks" in my extra sauce (word to Ryan for spicing up your traditional "Tater Tot.") They were heavenly. I should also mention that today is "Talk like a Pirate Day." A handful of people on campus took it very seriously including the girl with the ripped shirt at the snack bar, Leah from my tutorial, and the international student who was probably tricked by someone into wearing pantaloons.

Kathleen has watched approximately half of the second season of "Grey's Anatomy" in preparation for Thurday's premier. I should probably start watching it with her so we have something to talk about. Also, I make her go to Project Runway every week... She totally digs it, though.

I'm going to Celebrity Bingo at Bob's Underground tonight. Last week, Russell K. Osgood, the President of Grinnell was the guest caller. I believe they secured the head of the science department for tonight's game. Every time I go to Bob's, I order a coffee drink not on the menu to make myself look a lot cooler. "Cafe Rolo, please." (Holllla to CatTed and my people at Avaleno's in BTown.) Then they look at me like I'm a huge snob. I did it to the nun turned Art intern working last weekend.

I have a bunch of reading to do tonight. I also get to watch the Alix Olsen movie for a GWS paper due this Monday again on Thursday. I wish I could watch documentaries all the time. Maybe I'll direct and produce them.

I'm going to be a documentary filmmaker when I grow up. My first film will probably be about adult shops.

Shout out to my people in Norris for an incredible Saturday night. I really can't stress it enough.

Heeeeeeeey Macarena...

World Peace

I bowled a 575 tonight.

They're putting my name on the high score board under the owner's wife. We're the only two ladies in Grinnell that have qualified this season. We kick ass.

My "grossly inaccurate" volleyball article is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Courtney graduates in three years, so my senior year, I won't have to worry about seeing her HATE me for printing that she was on academic probation. The coach hate-emailed me today. Maybe he'll retire? He's pretty old and not very successful as a coach.

The LMNOP movie tonight was also very bad.

I didn't fail my Spanish test, so I suppose it could have gone worse?

Nothing tasted good in the dining hall at lunch OR dinner. The problem is, they serve the same food at both meals. Maybe tomorrow they'll have alfredo. I can at least keep that down. I have 100 pages to read by 8:30 AM and I have to work from 1-5. I'm not going to read most of the pages but I'll go to work.

I really need to do laundry. I've been spraying Fabreeze like a chain smoker with cats. Laaaaaaaaaaame. It costs .90 cents for every load. If there was a river, hell, water of any kind in Grinnell, I'd just wash my clothes by hand in it. This would make me a true Grinnell Pioneer. Our mascot is the Pioneer. I've never been to a football, volleyball, or soccer game, so I wonder how they pulled off the costume.

Today was really good, actually. I should have written a more positive blog.

Tomorrow will probably be terrible.

I'm looking forward to it.

P.S. I had an incredible weekend. The highlight was watching the Spanish language assistant and the French language assistant get drunk off of cheap sangria.

NOLA

I just received THIS email from Adam and Anna about Alternative Break...

Dear Jessica, Erin, Neo, Rachel, Evan, Ryan, Wasimon and Margie:

Thank you very much for taking the time to apply for AltBrk. As you know we had many applicants for the New Orleans trip. This meant that we had to be very selective and careful as to who we thought would be the best teammates.

You should know, however, that we are extremely excited to inform you that you will be joining us in New Orleans this Fall Break! You all really expressed great interest in learning about and helping New Orleans as well as wanting to be part of a close-knit, hardworking team.

We will be having our first meeting this week and ask that you please email us with the times that work best for you by the end of this evening. Anna and I will then look at the times and try and pick the most convenient for everyone. As a reminder, meetings are mandatory.

Thanks again for your applications and we are sooooooooooooooooooooo looking forward to working with you!

Much love,
Anna and Adam

ps. now go stalkernet each other (Adam wrote this part).

I'm going to New Orleans and I'm Funkapumped. We'll be driving down together. "Dear Missouri and Arkansas, I've never seen you before! Can't wait! Love, Margie"

I got the email right after Ben, the editor of the Scarlet & Black told me I had printed some false information about a Volleyball athlete in the story. Turns out Courtney Smith is on the Dean's List and was not on academic probation like I thought. Oops.

Kathleen was selected to go to Denver for a Peace Talks service project. We're both very content right now. The color of this font reminds me of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream sandwiched between two halves of a waffle is incredible and something I try to eat in the dining hall twice if not six times every week.

Ode to the Shoe

This is Jordan. He should be here, in my place. He knows why.

This picture was taken on my last visit to the Horseshoe before I left town. We ordered the cheese fries with a side of ranch and naturally smothered them in katchup.

I would like to go to the Horseshoe tonight before the Funkadesi concert.

I watched the band walk across Mac Field tonight during dinner. It was really awesome. They served spaetzle again sans kielbasa.


I am FunkaPUMPED. I've said this three times in the last hour and Kathleen looks as though she's going to FunkaME UP.

Funka-EXCITED.

FUNKADESI IS IN TOWN and will be performing for us tonight at Harris Concert Hall as a benefit for Hurricane Katrina. I submitted my Alternative Fall Break application. One of the questions was if you could be any kitchen utensil, what would you be? I chose a butter knife (Rachel, holla!) because it's sole purpose is spreading butter. Butter=Love. The world needs more butter.

This is Funkadesi. If I could join any band in the world, I would choose to be in Peaches' entourage. Next, I would choose Funkadesi.



I would like to get to know the sitar player on a more personal level.

I've been listening to some clips of songs from their website. http://www.funkadesi.com/. I'm going bring a pillow to sit on tonight. When Dar Williams was in town, we sat on the floor for four hours. I basically had to roll back to Ellen's room. Not tonight. No ma'am.

Yes. Funkadesi starts in seven hours. Rachel and CatTed and Cait, I wish you were here because you would really appreciate this opportunity. Kelly and Kari, you would pretend like you were excited. Which is cool too.

I Think Trans Women are GREAT!!!

In case you were wondering, I have infinite female power ballads on my iTunes and an incredible battery on the Dell. I've been in the basement for three days eating scraps of food that the third years throw down from ground level. I finished the volleyball story, I just took a ridiculously hard Spanish test, and I turned in a three page paper this afternoon for my tutorial class. This was undoubtedly the hardest week of college I've EVER HAD. If I was a moron and really rich, I would have dropped out this morning at 1 AM when I was still in the library trying to get a grip.

I didn't read my Women's Studies text last night. 50 pages from the Tong about radical feminism is probably the most effective sleep aid anyone can prescribe. Today, Professor Alfonso referenced the Michigan's Womyn's Festival and suggested all the biological womyn in the room van up to the festival this spring. I'm into it. One policy that the Festival has, however, is the M to F trans women are not allowed in, so a "Trans Camp" is pitched on the outskirts of the Festival and everyone goes over at night to get drunk.

Quote of the Day from Professor Alfonso:
"I think trans women are GREAT!!!"

A squirrel just hoped onto the loggia. It's hissing and freaking out. If it bites me, I'm prepared to kill it and take it into the lab to be tested for rabies.

This weekend is family weekend and all last night as I was writing my 9/11 media critique, parents kept walking past asking stupid questions about the library. Our fault for sitting near the East Asian Literature collection. Dan's fam is in town from New Jersey. Last night, Will and Carter promptly removed the "How to Put on a Condom" brochure I tacked up last week in preparation for their arrival. As college students, don't you think we should know how to put a condom on at this point? The pamphlet about male self-inspection is probably the most useful. It has a baseball catcher in full gear on the front with his glove over his cup. It's probably the most informative. Dan invited Kathleen to dinner. I think Ryan and I are going out for Chinese tonight. The China Sea, according to Adam, gives people perma diarrhea so we'll probably eat at the other one in town.

Right now, I'm trying to finish my application for Alternative Fall Break on the roof. I'm hoping to get into one of the ReNew Orleans trips. Campus is pretty dead right now. I'm singing The Be Good Tanya's "Littlest Birds Sing the Prettiest Songs" in honor of Robb's Birthday.

I'm not kidding. The cross country team just ran by naked again.

Shoot. I forgot to check my mail today.

I got a letter from Grandma yesterday on what I thought was the most patriotic stationary in the world. Everyone at dinner last night, however, decided that since it was eagle and glitter free and made no reference to god or god blessing something, there had to be something more patriotic out there, I just hadn't seen it yet.

I hear sirens. I think it's the first time in four weeks. Because that's how long it's been. ONE MONTH. Holy hell. It's gone by really fast.

Vuck Volleyball, I write for NO sports team

I'm listening to Tracy Chapman in the basement with the hood of my black sweatshirt up trying to write the volleyball story I was assigned to for newspaper. I decided that I'm only going to write until my laptop batteries die or I run out of female power ballads. UGH. A piece of cracker just got sucked under the "V" key on the keyboard. I hope that crumb doesn't affect my ability to type the word volleyball.

Nope. Looks like every thing is vine.

"The Diary of a Young Girl Bowler"

I killed it tonight. The first game was 203; my average will be about 170 to start. All of my posts about league from now on will be called "The Diary of a Young Girl Bowler" because I'm the only girl and the youngest on the entire league. I'm like Anne Frank in a lot of ways, and in a lot of other ways I'm not.

My team is made up of Jon, Brandon, Troy, and Cloynce; they're all local except for Brandon and Cloynce is a lot crazier than his name leads one to believe. We bowled against a team of men that looked a lot like the twice removed relatives of men my Dad used to fish with. They all brought special bottle jackets to keep their beer cold. Next week I will bring the caddy I compulsively purchased while "cogged" at the top of Pike's Peak, just so I can be one of the guys.

As soon as I got back, Ryan and I had to watch two hours of coverage about 9/11 for our tutorial. A media critique is due Friday. We managed to catch all of the president's address in which he asked the country to rededicate itself to the pursuit of freedom. The best part of any presidential address is the 'analysis by analysts' that follows; who decided that his dialogue was too sophisticated for the American public to interpret on their own the first time?

People are having sex above us on the third floor right now. If the bed springs are this loud a floor down, I can't even imagine what it's like in the bed...

Professor Purcell gave us a piece that she published about the Bunker Hill Monument to read for class tomorrow. It's pretty boring.

I imagine Iowa and Utah have a lot in common

I went to the Adult Superstore last night with Will, Carter, and Ryan. Should I die in Iowa, I'd die peacefully and with no regrets.

The Adult Superstore's name is actually "The Lion's Den." It's this awesome hybrid of the Adult Shop on Railroad and Love Zone on Meridian and it has the best parts of either store. It had the most extensive collection of videos I've ever seen. As we walked back to the car, I couldn't help but feel like I was in Utah; there's nothing around the Den but a highway for miles and miles. A large white cross is stuck in the ground at the beginning of the Den's driveway. Next time, we're going in the day time so we can take a really campy picture next to it.

I sort of told Kathleen that the four of us went out for ice cream. If you're reading this, Kathleen, surprise! We were going to make a 3 AM Perkin's run too (apparently, Perkin's is like Denny's for the family that farms?) but Carter, who has the car, fell asleep. He'll kill us all before the year's over, I'm sure of it. Left turn yield on green is not clicking yet. Soon, perhaps?

I stole a cookie from the Grille last night and passed it to Ryan over the back counter. I also dropped my Saturday graveyard shift. Things are going to change around here, that's for sure. For example, Erin, Meredith, Jess, and Christena invited me to watch the third season of "The L Word" with them tonight. A friend of Erin's who studied in China managed to secure a pirated copy with Chinese subtitles.

Tomorrow I start bowling in the league. I hope they add another neon beer clock before then because I don't think an establishment should be without at least eight.

The Adult Super Savior

My parents sent me this picture in their last carepackage. I had hinted at stopping here on the way to Grinnell but I was the only one in the car curious. The building is really small because my mom refused to 1) get any closer and 2) get out of the car. I'm pretty lucky, actually, because she got a great shot of the semi parked on the right. Trucker's get lonely too.


This is the Adult Superstore. It's the only adult shop within 100 miles of Grinnell. Not only is it open 24 hours a day, seven days a week (which means someone or someone's family actually gets to live there!), but their sign on the highway says "Jesus: The Adult Super Savior" followed by "The Adult Superstore Exit ___." I'm going if it's the last thing I ever do.

Midnight shift at the Grille tonight. I hope we break healthcode and have to shut down. Forever.

My fish peaced before I had a chance to name it

[In honor of Ag. Appreciation Weekend, I'm posting this in green]

I broke my camera. Technically the cement I dropped it on broke it. Unfortunately, all of the pictures from Grinnell Agricultural Appreciation Day are stuck inside its hollow shell. The only proof I have of attending is this tractor postcard. It came in a set of eight in a Ziploc sandwich bag. Each of the postcards depict a different agricultural scene; a local artist produces a different scene for each year.

I decided to post this card from 1999 because it features the gazebo and three of the 50+ tractors featured in the town center. A local band called Route 66 played Vince Gill covers for an hour and a half. Ryan and I could only stomach three songs. We ate homemade ice cream and I was this close to buying flour from a Menonite family at the farmer's market.

Two thumbs up for Ag. Appreciation Day.

I would have attended the Machinery Parade had the Unitarian Universalist dinner not conflicted. Perhaps next year. I talked to a planning committee member in the park. I recommended they sell shirts at next year's event. I think my voice will be heard.

Last night at the study break carnival, I won a beta fish. I knew I would. I was really pleased with myself until I woke up this morning, ready to feed it. To my absolute HORROR, the fish was gone. I freaked out and Kathleen laughed. Nilesh, from across the hall, took it while I was in the co-ed bathtub last night talking on the phone with CatTed about the raunchy Spanish sex poema she was trying to help me translate. Kathleen must have let him in. Nilesh forgot to take the food so during the day today, he must have made a second trip because the food was gone. I decided to let him just keep it because 1) the kid's roommate never showed up for school so he's been alone for three weeks and 2) everytime I say his name, he looks at me like I've mispronounced it. Which I probably have.

Whatever. I'll get another one. Kathleen hated the fish anyway because she didn't want the stress of caring for it. I assured her, I could fly solo on this project.

The cross country team just ran by. Naked. Not kidding.

I donated blood today. I took three stickers and ate all of the Strawberry Fig Newtons at the recovery table. I was a "fast pump" according to Mary, the Blood Center Technician. I asked, and she said she has worked for the Blood Center of Iowa for 10 years. Based on her physical appearance and toupe Easy-Spirits, I would have guessed 50 years.

Rachel is home from Hawaii but stuck in a small basement room in Victoria sans phone and internet. Damn. This one goes out to Rachel.

She has her father's eyes

TomKat released baby Suri's pictures in Vanity Fair.

I'm baby Suri.

Secret's out.

I'm going to sleep for seven hours this afternoon and then check my mail twice. After that, I'm going to Ag Appreciation Day, THEN I'm going to win a Beta Fish at the Loose Head Carnival and keep it in a Snapple bottle for five years. Beta's live in mud puddles in Thailand, so I'm not expecting anyone to go [FTP] on my ass. Free the Planet is the most feared student group on campus.

I have big "picture blog" plans for this evening. Brace yourself.

Machinery Parade tomorrow, Don't miss it.

I was hired as the Scarlet & Black's new Assistant Design Editor at 10:30 PM and am just now getting back (it's 2 AM here.) They but me to work straight away because Christena has been sans 'bitch' for an entire issue.

All I do for three hours is edit the three campus events calendars that run in each issue. Christena is graduating this spring so I'm hoping I'll be grandmothered into the Design Editor position and I can train someone else to search the campus memo for seminars, prayer circles, and convocations happening during the week. If you get a chance, come over for the New Orleans Jazz Band Concert next Saturday. It sounds fabulous.

I'm joining a town bowling league. We bowl Monday nights at the Bowladrome; I'm considering renting a locker. Today, for the half-mile walk to practice, I decided to put my ball and assorted equipment into my massive Kelty hiking backpack. I felt very boho-chic.

Tomorrow is the town of Grinnell's Agriculture Appreciation Day. I'm going to eat a lot of butchered hog and sweet corn. Preferably sweet corn wrapped in butchered hog. The flyers recommended we bring our own tractor for the Machinery Parade at 6:30. My cluster is also having a carnival study break and pre-study break pudding drop.

It should all be very down home.

Teach Me Hearts.

I think this picture speaks for itself. I'm on my way to bowling and this is my bowling game face.

In the picture, I'm listening to Thomas Cunningham's, "Swell," which I hope you all have downloaded at this point.

I should know more card games. I'm willing to learn if you're eager to teach. When I'm in a nursing home, I plan on playing cards all day for money. I will also ask to be called Marjorie, my given name.

Project Runway tonight. One year's worth of tuition says Michael Knight takes it all.

Sobrino, a delicious chocolate drink mix nephew

I just got back from the dining hall where I enjoyed Kielbasa & Spaetzle Saute (http://www.aaltonet.com/spaetzle/spaetzle.html) with half of my Gender & Women's Studies class because Prof. Alfonzo was out with the flu- we all celebrated minus the woman who looks like my Great Aunt Jean who sits in the backrow taking notes everyday? Instead of doing the reading, I slept last night and read the highlighted sections of the book left by its previous owner. Judging by the passages this person chose to mark, I wager this person was what Simone de Beauvoir would call a "penis possessor."

Lina called. Rachel should be calling soon. I don't have a number for her new place in Victoria yet. I want to visit her right now so we can catch up and laugh at the same stupid shit. Ryan and I watched "Saved!" Saturday night. He seemed to like it but near the end, the substance free kids took over the lounge with the first season of "Lost" on DVD. I like the sub-free kids well enough, but their emotions are just so raw and genuine... If I don't hear anything from Rachel today, I'm calling her parents from the bathroom.


Since I don't like people here enough to take their pictures yet, I decided to post this one of CatTed and me at the Market.



I met a Mormon two weeks ago, she's one of three on campus.

Kathleen made me kill a spider this morning that was living above her bed. I used the section featuring the praying mantis sex diagram from the New York Times. I hope she appreciates what a sacrifice that was for me.

Next time I'm out, I'm buying a gallon of milk to go with the "Cocoa Sobrino, al instante" that I brought back from Dom Rep. It's a chocolate drink mix; sobrino means nephew.

The Counseling Services handbook just arrived. I will be starting complimentary group therapy as soon as possible.

Kathleen's Holiday

If my leg were a face, this is what it would look like right now.


It's as if a heavily decorated boy scout snuck into my calf and tied all the tendons and muscles into a giant, impenetrable knot. I had to leave the library early tonight because I felt so out of control that I thought I was going to push all the books on the bottom shelf on to the ground for the midnightbrarian to pick up on hand and knee. The midnightbrarian probably would have quit on the spot at the sight of such a mess. Our midnightbrarian is a man. I've found him to be really useful. Not really.

It's been far too long since I've had a fortune cookie... in bed.

You will be handsomely rewarded for your work in mathematics... in bed (The Fookie fortune cookie company of Renton, WA is still trying to pass this one off as a legitimate fortune. Write your senator.)

Speaking of snack food, the first care package from my mom consisted of all the left over snack foods that were in my cupboard pre-Grinnell plus three gum samples from the dentist, plus a crushed package of complimentary US Airlines pretzels from my parent's return flight (and two pair of chopsticks?)- My dental hygienist, Barb, gave me a pamphlet about snacking in college a week before I left. I read it.

Did anyone else read the article in the NY Times today called "It Can't Be Love" about the praying mantis and their courtship with the Chinese mantis? The female eats the male after sex.

I'm for it.

DINING HALL UPDATE: White sauce at the pasta bar today. I put the Washington Apple sticker over my heart after every apple. Kathleen, the manager of the pizza station, not to be confused with my roommate, has got to be 165 years old. They should have a holiday after her and put her fossilized remains in a museum.

"Why don't you just shove it up your ass" and other things I should have said to my co-worker overly sensative about my exsessive use of toothpicks

I work at "The New Grille." I spend my four hour shifts making grilled sandwiches and wiping sweat from my brow with gloved hands.

Shawnece uses a sandwich skewer as a toothpick at the service counter while Zyme (pronounced 'Z-I'm') restocks Naked. Juices. [Not pictured: Ruth, our merry supervisor. Tuesdays she picks up her grandson from school at 3.]

The hat is by far the most degrading piece of the ensamble. I typically sweat alot when I'm wearing it.

This is the face I made when one girl from the shift before reminded me that "we don't use toothpicks in the penini sandwiches" and the other girl told me that "we try to wear gloves when we handle the customer's food. Just so you know." Bitch, please.

Lamest Question from a customer to date:

Lame Girl: "Could you tell me the difference between your Nicaraguan and your Mexican coffee. I noticed you switched over to the Mexican today."

Me: "No."

That college feeling

I feel like I'm camping and this is Why:

I walk to the shower wearing all my clothes and leave, still dripping, in the same clothes.

I brush my teeth in front of other people.

The bathrooms have no hand towels or paper towels (or toilet paper?...)

Just like you would the flap-door of a tent, we keep our door open all the time. We don't really decide who comes in and who doesn't, but who locks their tent? I've never been into camping, but I can only imagine the kind of people that lock their tents.

I drink only bottled water, not because I'm a snob but because I'm convinced they give the good tap water to their corn. I'm looking into it.

I live with Kathleen. This is Kathleen with her laptop.

I have to wear clothes all the time, even if it's really hot in my room.

My feet get dirty from walking on my own floor.

I sleep, get dressed, eat, and work in the same 7X13 rectangle of room.

And, there has been a bear sighting...

Galactic Glue, Altoids, Post-its, TicTacs, Snicks (ShannonTM,) Gum, Spongebob Squarepants Foam stickers. Holla!

Cheryll Blair sent me this CARE PACKAGE!!! I love care packages!!! Thanks, Cheryll. You'll be receiving a hand written thank you note from yours truly within the next month. The book store has this really awesome collection of "Entirely Iowa Cards" that have images of barns with American flags painted on whole sides.

LMNOP: Your Favorite Acronym and Mine

I thought alot about the Olds today. And Rachel. Aloha and mele kaliki maka, my friend.


Kathleen's asleep right now and I'm tempted to take a picture of her so you all can meet her formally but I'm afraid of what she might do if I were to come at her right now with a camera flash- she says she's a light sleeper. Shank me with one of the tooth brushes she won from "Board Game Extravaganza" that she's since filed down behind my back? Maybe.

You know what I should do? Check my mail. I think I'm going to clean up after the mail-free long weekend.

Tonight I hit the LMNOP meeting- Lesbian Movie Night or Organized Procrastination. We watched a really really good movie based in Vancouver, "Better Than Chocolate." All throughout, we ate an entire HyVee large-sized bag of animal crackers. They're like sweet Pringles. I think the makers of Pringles sprinkle crack in the tubes, except not in the "Pizza Explosion" tubes because no one eats those anyways...

I hope the pasta bar has a white sauce tomorrow. I got a little "ill," if you know what I mean, from the creamy red vodka sauce and the white clam sauce they had last week. I think that Alfredo should always be a choice because it's so overwhelmingly popular.

You should come here. I asked, and Nilesh from across the hall said that you can sleep in the spare bed in his room. His roommate peaced out before school started. Just call me before you get here, please, so I have a chance to make your bed and fluff your pillow.

Also, download Thomas Cunningham's "Swell." I can't stop listening to it. Thomas Cunningham must sprinkle his songs with the same crack that the Pringle makers use.

To Kari

Kari you're a big freak. Stop watching "Sex and The City" and socialize. Love you!
Sucka.

I also joined the Bowling team and have enrolled in a Bowling Class for .5 credits. The Bowladrome has 10 lanes, carpeted walls and five different Budweiser clocks. I bowled a 252 last week. I imagine Iowa turns out a lot of professional bowlers.

It's true what they say about Iowa sweet corn. It's delicious salt and butter free. For the NSO BBQ, a farmer and his wife rolled in a corn roasting machine and served it up hot and golden.

Latest Grinnell Bumper Sticker Sightings:

"I'm Pro Caribou and I Vote"

"Annoy a Liberal: Get a job, Work, and Be Happy"

...Marked by my visits to Wal-Mart

I just got back from Wal-Mart- my first trip since my parents peaced out two weeks ago. Two weeks ago today. My GOD. Seems longer...

In the past two weeks I have:

Met my roommate. Her name is Kathleen. This morning I broke her favorite blue mug. Awesome.

Applied for classes.

I'm taking: Introduction to Sociology (Professor Fisher has five children, three of whom are adopted. She was raised on a farm in Kansas and knows what it's like to be working and poor which I really respect.) Gender & Women's Studies (Professor Alfonzo wears a belt with images of the naked women that appear on tire flaps.) Intermediate Spanish (Professor Valentin is from Spain. She thinks I'm a big loser and I think it's not my fault I can't understand what she says most of the time.) A Freshman Tutorial called The Politics of Memory: American Memorials (Professor Purcel is a genius- I want to be her.)

Gotten lost looking for my Spanish Lab, gave up, returned to my dorm, and cried.

Learned to treat Pizza as a "side dish."

Decorated my room.
This is my bed. I sleep in it.

This is my desk, my dresser, and my fan. The fan has a remote.

Gone to the library by choice.

Written two articles for the Scarlet & Black- a cross country feature and a volleyball feature. I don't know how exactly I became a sports writer...buuuut, whatever keeps food on the table.

Done three loads of laundry.

Worked the graveyard shift at the New Forum Grille, a snack bar for students open until 2AM during the week.

Subscribed to the New York Times.

Visited Multi Culti Manor twice.

Called everyone I can think of from the bathtub in the Co-Ed bathroom.

Smoked a cigar on the roof with Nick.

Found the Project Runway scene, Thank GOD.

...and alot of other stuff...
My parents may as well have dropped me blindly from a helicopter. Who leaves their precious baby daughter in Iowa and gets away with it? It's getting good here, though. Not great, but good.

Tonight, Will, Dan, Kathleen, and I all piled into Carter's car and went to HyVee (the local equivilant of Cost Cutter) and then over to Wal-Mart where I purchased one "Homie" action figure, two boxes of Cheese Nips, a bag of Special Dark Chocolate Kisses, Microwave Popcorn, deoderant, and two cases of bottled water.

Since today was Labor Day and the country had the day off, I had class and got zero pieces of mail. Laaaame.